How To Handle The Working Mama Guilt

Too busy chasing the kids to build your biz?  Try and make the time but then get filled with so much guilt that you aren't there for them? Right, let's stop this inner dialogue and let's get ready for the ultimate pep talk. How to Handle Working Mom Guilt.

Too busy chasing the kids to build your biz?  Try and make the time but then get filled with so much guilt that you aren't there for them? Right, let's stop this inner dialogue and let's get ready for the ultimate pep talk. 

I don't know about you, but I never envisioned myself as the "stay-at-home mom" - even having that preconceived notion of what a mother that stayed at home looked like was already setting me up for failure. That idea, that us as a woman, didn't go into the workforce but instead took on the role as the homemaker and worked that job 24/7.

Social norms have changed a lot since then and so it is time to get our heads out of what we think we are supposed to do as a mother.  You know why? We can do whatever the eff we want to do!

For some of you, it may work better financially to stay home and save on childcare costs. For others, you might be screaming to get back to the office. Whatever it is, we are all on our own path making our own way forward. 

I find it extremely important for our children to see first hand what their mother or father does. However, as I will tell you time and time again, it is about finding a balance that works for your family...and since we are all unique creatures, it is going to look different for all of you. 

however....

STOP COMPARING YOURSELF

I promise you, things are not always what they seem. Maybe you see an instamum who totally looks like they have their shit together. They don't. Even me guys, the only way I am able to get stuff done is by doing the things I am telling you here. 

FOCUS ON WHAT YOU DO

Not what you miss. The pressure for perfection that moms feel is insane. The struggle is real ya'll.  Even the smallest error can leave us feeling like failures.  You know what though, forget about that perfect ideal. 

Be present with your kids, your family, and friends.  If your kids are older maybe you can involve them in some work around the house together. Yeah there might still be crumbs on the floor after you asked them to sweep, but you know what, the trade-off is worth it. Spending time together. Win win. Curling up on the sofa together and watching their favorite movie because you are too exhausted to go outside is an amazing thing to do too. You don't have to bake 3 dozen cookies. If you do, hell yes and can you please send me some. 

MAKE YOUR TO-DO LISTS SHORTER

Once upon a time, when you could pee alone, you could probably tackle a list a mile long. Now with lack of sleep and a shorter attention span, we need to keep it manageable. Most importantly, so we don't set up ourselves for failure. Be totally realistic and brutally honest with yourself. Housework is one of those things that will never be entirely done, and it can feel overwhelming because you just know you’ll never get caught up.  So letting go of perfection is an absolute must.  Were you expecting a different answer?

SCHEDULE YOUR TIME

Scheduling my time is one of the most important things I have done to feel balanced as a working mom.  This isn't just about scheduling work hours and sticking to them.  I am talking about creating a daily schedule, from the time you wake up until the time you go to bed. Today for example, I had an hour put down for me to write this blog post. I didn't just say hey...I'm going to write an article. I actually knew 2 weeks ago that I was going to, and today was the day it was going to happen.  I encourage you to have plenty of blank space in your schedule though and especially have time to schedule with the kids. Monday and Wednesdays, the toddler is home and if I can get some work done awesome, but that is only an added bonus. My time those days is for my kid 100%. 

IT TAKES A VILLAGE

This is how it gets done. Maybe that village is the nursery you send your kid so you can work uninterrupted, maybe that village is another working mom/dad/sister that you can share some duties with or maybe that village is hiring someone like me to help you run your business. You can't do it all. 

Virtual assistants are actually a lot more affordable than you might think because they often tailor their services to exactly what you need. In turn your business gets more sales and the cost is worth it tenfold. 

The biggest lesson here is that you need to banish the guilt. Even if you did not work another job and your focus was only on the kids and home, you would still have guilt coming in from other areas. Finding balance takes effort, you have to actually work hard for it.  Have you found ways to get rid of the guilt and find balance as a working mom?  Do you have any tips you’d add to this list?

Need some help and want to chat on how a virtual assistant could work for you? Yep, let's do it. Get in touch. 

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